When I dream high and fall deep

Posted: November 5, 2010 in dreams

 
My dream…

Hahahahah! Childish but fun. Hmmmmmm… I can’t think as of now but let’s try to have it now.

As a person we have also a dream, a dream sometimes impossible but sometimes possible. Sometimes people will try to laugh about my dreams, it is really impossible to an idiot and fool like to me to get that ambitions but i always think in the brighter side.

I remember when I was a kid my playmates always tease me about being weak. Yes I am! But i don’t care. Hahahaha! Strong doesn’t mean that you can beat people out of nowhere, you can bully them, you can defeat them in a fist fight or you can kill them. Strong means a lot for me, it is winning not against other person but winning through conquering your weaknesses. Strong meaning you are really strong by facing your weaknesses and you can handle the problem wisely. Hahahahah! got nosebleed…

But when my playmates tease me I told them that one day i will become a lawyer. A lawyer that will protect the rights of every individual, a pro life lawyer and for the poor lawyer. A lawyer that is against discrimination. Weeeee…. way back when i was a kid.

My mom told me to become a nautical. Because we have a relative that is a captain. Hmmmmm…. i don’t kow how to swim… don’t like to swim either… heheheh!

When I reached my high school days still in my mind is to become a nautical but i was wondering if i can do that.

I have also an ambition to be part of the speech and drama club when i was in high school. When I saw the team winning the speech choir competition iwas so inspired and eger to join the team. But people are teasing me. Some of the Speech and drama club member in our school 99% of them are from the pilot section. But I never belong to that section. I start doing an ambition when I was in the second year high school. Dreaming to be part of that club. Somehow I join them, totally join them and was an official member in the year 2003.

I also love writing. The first poem that i had written when I was in high school,it was written in a rubbish english. hhahahaha! I forgot the title. Anyway, I do have an ambition to be part of the school publication and can join some of the presscon outside the campus. But journalism in our school, members and contributors totally are pilot section or the section one students. But I was in the section 8th before when i was second year. And in the year 2003 I am an official member of the publication and become there sports writer in Filipino and join the presscon in Sibonga, Cebu. That was a good experience in dreaming right?

When i was in high school, i am really curious. And out of curiousity sometimes you will got hurt and sometimes you will succeed. I was also dreaming to have my own play that was played in the school and yet I was the one who is the director and the writer in the play inspiring the theory adn teaching of Ms. Elizabeth Gorres our adviser in Speech and Drama Club,when I was in my fourth year high school. Fortunately we won and I never expect it because it was a great competation, but i never grab the price on it I grab the experience to be part in my life. We never won as the best director, the best script, the best actor and actress but in our experience it is the best part of our life. Since all of our competators are teachers in our district.

In the field of science and technology also I have an ambition to calculate the speed of light and be part of the investigatory. All of the entry somehow are medicals and inventions and my Physics mentor never support me at that time because my proposal is a Theoritical Physics and she told me that theoritical physics is not the scope of the investigatory. So she never consider my theory but one mentor in our school tried to support me. She believes on me and believing in my theory. She is a biology teacher, how come that a biology teacher support a theoritical physics? hehehehh! just wondering… but we failed, till now that theory is under my investigation and i need to study it more. And when the competition is over my Physics teacher told me that if I join the contest I am very unique because my concept was there and the theoritical physics is including to the contest. I never feel regret maybe it is not the time for it.

Sometimes people will try to think that my ambitions is kind of absurding but for me its not. This is my dream, this is not about you but this is about me.

When high school seems to end i wonder what would be the next step that i want to take up. There were lots of discouragement in my life. I dont have money to take the DOST scholarship, and i am late to enroll in college. And my parents can’t support my tuition in college. I weep and thought that this is the end but I think positive and make an alternate way.

But I never loose hope. I prefer to be an engineer. An engineering who cannot build a building because i studied a computer engineering. Hahahahah! But that would be fine. Later on, there were lots of small dreams that was in my life.

I cried a lot when i dont have money to pay my tuition in college. I stop in college. College is really expensive and life is really more than expensive. I stop and got to work to support my family. I work and work but never stop in dreaming.

I read more english books and read more books. I was in the church at that time. I was wondering and dream again if I can be a call center agent to support my family since call center agent is really a big job here. So i tried to practice my english even though I have a bad accent its my first time you know. And my friends in the church told me that you cannot be an agent because you don’t know how to speak english well and you are not conversant. But i smile and put it in my mind that I can be one of them, sitting and talking to an American one day.

I start applying as a call center agent last 2007. Sarcasms are there and it seems they are trying to pull you down. I was so hopeless at that time. I can’t express myself well in english and I am not conversant according to the one who interviewed me. My friends in the church tease me that how many times you applied and never been part of it, just stop your foolishness and your freaking dream to be part of that industry. I feel down at that time but I never give up.

Don’t give up that was in my mind at that time. Don’t give up. Don’t give up, fight and you know you can do it. After several months I am officially a call center agent. I got the job officially in January in Qualfon Philippines Inc. but our training was cancelled again I was down. But August 2007 I work with an outbound call center in the heart of Cebu at Northern Telcoworks Inc. I thought it was the last and I was hopeless but i keep on dreaming.

I worked in an outbound and inbound call centers in Cebu. Small and big businesses. See dreaming? putting an ambition in your self is like putting a goal.

The next play I had is when I become a member of the college drama club. I am a full time call center agent and a full time student with commitment to literature in terms of play in our school. I wrote a play and was showed in Fuente Osmena and it was a great experience then. I never want the fame but I want just to fullfil my ambitions and dream.

I also dream that someday I can publish a novel, an english novel that would be the New York’s Best seller… hhahaha! or else grabing the oppurtunity to win the prestigious Nobel Prize Award and the first filipino who won in literature or in science and technology… hahahhaha! or winning the first Filipino Indie director and Actor to win the prestigious Oscar awards. ahahaha!
Or studying in MIT or Harvard or Yale University… hahahah!

A man that is afraid of falling down in there dreams are coward and chicken hearted. They are scared to feel the hurt of dreaming coz not all the time dreams are good sometimes it will turn into nightmares and the good thing is that you know how to stand whenever your down. Even if people will try to mock you,  stand up and be proud at least you have the experience in learning. Don’t be afraid to learn and to feel the emptiness of hurt. It is normal. We are human. when we got hurt at least we learn something new in our life.

You know what I want? Not the money nor the fame but the experience in doing that. I was wondering if what would be that experience for? If your down then don’t give up. Tell all the people that you know what you are doing and you can achieve what you want. Keep on dreaming. All of the famous people in earth are dreaming and have a great capacity of determination. Follow your dreams! For me the real happiness is when you can do what people think that you cannot do… Dream high and Dream big!

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