If only I could win your love

Posted: November 6, 2010 in my tears and joy

(The picture appeared above is created by Johnrey Cabucos, thanks Johnrey for sharing me this picture)



Heheheheh! Weird isn’t it??

I don’t think that people are not experiencing this one. I know all of us experience this one. Im one of the victim of this case.

What a neophyte in terms of love. Love for me before is a nice and very romantic. I found myself that it was all about fantasy that was before. You are searching for your princess, you are searching for Ms. Right and here we come the knight in a shining armor in a white horse. But i thought it was but not.

I thought I am the prince in the princess hours or the Romeo in every Juliet. But that was quiet unrealistic coz there is only one Juliet in one Romeo. There would be no other prince in the princess hours.

Huh…It is quiet tired of thinking of her. I cant get the point why should lovers never stay forever? Weee…. it sound like fantasy right? and they live happily ever after??? I don’t think so, it happens only in fantasy..

When someone left me I am so sad at that time. I can’t vent out and im loosing control of myself. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how i can handle this.

I decided to let myself go rather than be stuck in that freaking area. SO I went to the city and lived there. That’s the reason and I need to move on. I need to and it takes 3 years for me to move on. I can’t believe that I did it at last.

But still the pain it takes time for me to heal it. Do we have an instant pain reliever for heartbroken?

I fight at that time. Im not trying to run away and never face the circumstances. I fight for it. I fight but the more fight i had the more hurt it takes.

Like the other one, I am trying to ignore my feelings towards that person but the more i keep ignoring the more i fall. But I fight in that case even though it was rejected.

Letting go is another word of saying I love you to the person whom you really love. If I win that love does she loves me because i won or does she loves me just for pity coz i beg? Hmmmmm… so that is not love, that is pity. Pity of being unloved by someone else.

My heart keep mumble your name and my mind keeps utter your face. The smile, the lips, the eyes and everything. It seems that I can’t erase that feelings and am asking myself, what if we both meet in a place accidentally do i need to go back on my way or to runaway or to ignore you passing by me?

If I won your love what would be the price? i won your love maybe because I beg. I beg you to love me, I beg you to care for me. But it was a slap on my face. I will really let you go because I love you so much.

I love you even if my happiness will be snatch. It is not that I let you go i never love you but it shows that I love you so much. I don’t want you to feel the things that I feel right now. I don’t want that you feel how hurt it is coz i want you to be happy. I want you to be happy…happy…

I want you to be happy and to saw it everyday, every minute and second that you are smiling at me even if I never won your love. I would say thank you for breaking my heart and you made it stronger in the very start.

So what If I won your heart?? hmmmmmm…. typically i need yo end this….


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