“Huling Himig”

Bakit kung sa panahon na ikay masasaktan mata moy luhaan?

At lahat ng mga musika ay parang kutsilyo na nakabaon sa iyong dibdib

Na kahit anong limot mo sa nakaraan

Babalik at babalik parin ang napakahapdi na kahapon

Kahit pilitin mong ipikit ang iyong mga mata sa iyong nakikita

Pero dama mo parin ang isang bangungot nang umaga

Bangungot na hindi mo makalimotan katulad ng iyong mga ngiti

Ang iyong mga halik, ang iyong boses na parang isang awit

Ang iyong mukha na parang santo sa mga simbahan

At ang iyong awit na nagpapaligaya sa aking dibdib noun pa man

Dama ko ang lungkot at kawalan ng akoy iyong iniwan

Na kahit sa pagkain ko ay di ko kayang malunok sabaw man o kakanin

Pero kinaya kung mabuhay na wala ka sa tabi ko

Dahil alam kung sa pagkasawi ng aking puso maraming pagbabago nito

Magbabago ang takbo ng buhay ko dahil wala ka na sa piling ko

Mamimis ko ang bawat tono ng iyong mga halik

Pero alam kung masasanay din ako na kantahin ang himig na ito na mag isa

Naramdaman ko ang kalungkutan nung hindi ko na marinig ang himig mo

Nung naging pipi ako at ayaw ko nang kantahin mga awit mo

Naging mapamintas ako at nawala ako sa sarili ko

Dahil nasaktan ako, nasaktan ako nang sobra

Normal lang yun dahil tao lang ako na marunong umiyak

Salamat dahil marami akong natutunan sa ating pagmamahalan

Dahil natutu akong maging matatag nang nawala ka sa aking piling

Natutu akong tumawa nung umalis ka

Natutu akong mahalin ang sarili ko at maging isang malaya at masaya

Alam mo ikaw parin ang paborito kung kanta dito sa puso ko

Na kahit wala na tayo palagi ko itong pinapakinggan araw man at gabi

Hanggang maririnig ko ang huling himig nito

Dito sa nasaktan at natutu kung puso.

“Pang”

Ang saya ko. Napakasaya ko.

Isang paghihiwatig nang aking puso kasabay ng mga matatamis nating pangako

Ang iyong mga ngiti na parang ulap na walang pighati

Ang haplos ng iyong kamay na sa aking malungkot na puso dumadamay

Pang, mahal kita! Tandaan mo yan ikaw lang at wala nang iba

Ang saya saya ko nang ikaw ay makilala

Dahil sa bawat minutong inaalala koi to lalong naramdaman ko na mahalaga ako

Parang isang ilaw sa gitna nang napaka dilim na lugar

At ang iyong mga kamay ang aking gabay

Ang pintig ng iyong puso ang aking gingawang tulay

Pang, naaalala mo pa ba nung nag punta tayo sa bundok

nung hindi mo pa angkin itong puso ko

ang sarap titigan ng iyong mga ngiti habang tanaw ko ang mga ulap sa langit

habang dumadampi sa aking mga labia ng hangin

at sabay nating binabaybay ang daan kung saan na angkin mo ang puso ko

kung saan nadarama ko ang tunay na halik ng pag-ibig mo

kung saan ang bawat salita nito ay nakaukit na sa puso ko

Pang, ang sarap palang magmahal nang taong iyong minahal

Ang bawat matatamis nating mga nakaraan ay naka sulat yan sa palad ng madla

Katulad ng mga magagandang salita na aking ginawa

Naalala mo pa ba yung naligo tayo sa ulan na labis kung tuwa

Dahil yun yung pagbabalik ko na maligo sa ulan at ikaw yung kasama ko

Yung hinahawakan ko yung kamay mo sabay bilang sa mga pumapatak na tubig mula sa langit

At sa bawat pagpatak ng ulan hindi ko namalayan na ito nap ala ang oras

Na akoy iyong pinakawalan at tayoy nagpapaalam

Ang lungkot ng mga araw ko Pang nung akoy iniwan mo

Bawat oras at minuto pangalan mo ay bukang bibig ko

Akala ko lahat ng mga matatamis na pangyayari ay wala nang katapusan

Yun pala parti nalang ito ng napakadilim na kahapon at alaala

Pang, bakit mo ba ako iniwan na hindi man lang nagpa alam

Na miss ko lahat ng ating nakaraan

Doon sa bundok sabay tanaw sa mga ulap habang papalapit ang ulan

Ang iyong mga yakap na ang iyong hilik ay siyang pampatulog ko gabi gabi

Naaalala mo pa ba yung mga oras na tayoy nagkakilala

Doon sa isang lugar na umupo kang mag isa at nung nakita kita

Ang iyong mga mata ay biglang tumawa na parang tinunaw ang aking kaluluwa

Ang unang tagpo ng ating mga puso

At palagi koi tong binabalikbalikan at tinitingnan baka sakaling nandoon ka

Lagi kung sinasabi sa sarili ko na baka busy ka lang

Lagi kung niluloko sarili ko na babalik ka para sa akin

Pero hindi! Pang mali ako!

Nilalakad ko ang mga daan na sabay nating tinatahak habang hawak ko ang iyong mga kamay

Pero ngayon luha ang kasabay kung naglalakad sa madilim na daan

Luha ng pighati at kalungkutan dahil wala ka na Pang!

Pang bumalik ka na at pahiran mo ang mga luha ko

Ibalik mo ang yung mga kamay na noon nandyan sa puso ko

Yakapin mo ako tulad ng dati, tulad ng dati na ikaw at ako pa

Pang, bakit ba? Bakit mo ako iniwan?

“The Osmena Peak: Sneak Peak to Heaven”

Yes! Indeed! Since I don’t have any budget to have the Sagada, Ilocos, Baguio City, and Batanes Group of Islands then I want to have the Osmena Peak. I love the place it’s like a peso trip to heaven. The nature is kissing my poor soul and invading my entire self. I don’t understand my feelings at that time with the same guys that I’m with last summer that we had.

One of my bucket lists to travel in Osmena Peak. At last! Hahahaha… It’s a nice experience to invade the area.

Hope to have the Sagada and etc. next year! Slowly but surely! Hahahahah!!!!

“Last Summer 2015”

(photo by: zack tagalo)

I want that I have the greatest journey on earth, where sunrise is the best painting that colors my entire life. This is the first time of this year to view the sunrise over this salty water. I’m hoping that next month i can have the travel over Osmena Peak.
But anyways no matter how many pains that im facing at least you give the best fight on it. As long as you wear your shield of happiness and you are enjoying every tick of the clock.

I love watching Mr. Sun again. I love watching him painted the entire body of the sea with serenity. See? No matter how hot is the summer as long as you don’t give up then that’s what we called happiness.

Last 2008 is the last time i took myself in the sea and yesterday that was the first time i saw and smell its fragrance. The aroma of the past will always reminds me saying don’t forget to smile.

Oh Mr. Sun, yesterday is one of the happiest day ever. Thanks for the invitations anyway. Even if i lost my voice but the mixture of my emotion joins this beautiful sunrise at my back. I love you Mr. Sunrise!!

At last, before this moment ends i have some beautiful memories with my friends and my baboy KIbin Kbot Kpop who always protect me and gives his caress. Thank you!!

Mr. Sunrise i will see you again..

One Liter of Tears: A glance of joy and happiness

 

“I write because writing is the evidence that I am still alive”

– 1 liter of tears, Aya Kito

 

I just completed watching the Japanese Series that was based in a true story entitled “1 Liter of Tears”. It was being showed in GMA 7, a Philippine Channel station here in my country years ago. I wasn’t able to watch the series in Filipino dubbed since I’m working throughout the night time. I’m a bit busy at that time but now I had the opportunity to momentary look and finished the series on my own in my room.

It’s a story of a little dreamer, a 15 year old Japanese girl that was diagnosed by an incurable disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration. The disease can cause one person to be paralyzed and losing the control of their body and at the end they will be unable to eat, to walk and to talk. Her family and friends are hoping her to surpass the great battle in this malady but she can’t afford to refrain hurting herself in the heartless glance of the people surrounds her. The verdict of their eyes stabbed her at the back and started losing her hope and become helpless. Since this struggle continues she always wear a smile and continue writing her diary and saying that “I write because writing is the evidence that I am still alive”.

Her battle handicapped me in a mere wink. I was thinking how this girl continues her fight with a shield of smile and the sword of encouragement? How come she can do this if I was in her position I don’t even know if I will pick the pieces of me or continue living in the dark corner of this malady? Her weaknesses become her strength, and she believes that her mobility is not the hindrance of being her. The way how she think and she write over this piece is like creating a monument that I and my fellowmen will be inspired in every page.

The story is inspiring but tragic. It creates a kind of manifestation and influence in my life. The time, the time how many time that I have left in my life? How am I supposed to spend the quality time to myself, to my family and to the person that I loved? Life is really fragile, if you lose it then it doesn’t mean that you are already defeated some of the victorious battle ends bloody like hell but some of the battle continues after the war. I was wondering if how I can treasure the last drop of the tears that I have. How will I start the battle without knowing where to start and where to end and become victorious? Every time I’m watching the Japanese series I can’t handle to wipe my tears dropping unconsciously. I already spent more than 1 liter of tears for this.

Aya Kito, you inspired me on how to treasure the single moment of time that I had. This series is remarkable and I admit it I love the plot of it. I’m hoping that one day I’ll be able to read your diary or the novel perhaps. Every tickle of the time delivers a new you and a new me, but that moment it can be more meaningful if you treasure those characters behind you. Your optimism inspired me so much; I hope I can have an ounce of that to win my daily battle. That event in my life still continues to roll but I need to be more positive in viewing my life. Your life story motivated me, even if you’re no longer with us still your memories will be living in your family and in my mind too. Harigatu Gozimasu Aya!

In this life the only strategy that we are equipped is on how to handle your positivity during the battle. It is how you will wear the shield of smile and the sword of encouragement till the last drop of your tears.

In disputing my Abondonement of duty: an explanation of heart

 

 

“Freedom of expression is the basis of human rights, the source of humanity and the mother of truth. To block freedom of speech is to trample on human rights, to strangle humanity and to suppress the truth.”   Nobel Peace Prize laureate Liu Xiaobo

I’m not a one liner nor a single word person in explaining my side in regards with the report of abandonment that was happened last July 22 2012. It is not my intention to do it, I am really genuine to the feelings that I wanted to express. I don’t want to disrespect my colleague, the supervisors  and the entire company to violate the company policy. But if that situation has given me a chance to sent myself to our house with total consent  and take the full rest then there were no issue.

It was dawn of July 23, when my gums was conquered by the severe pain of my wisdom tooth and my body was gnawed by the ultimate illness. I am really sick, I can’t even talk well cuz the pain is refraining me and having a hard time to think. We already know how the toothache cease our serenity but in this case it ruined my entire day.

The Nurse On Duty, asseverated that I need to have only an hour rest and provided me the mefenamic acid that upsurge the swollen of my gums. I asked her if she can send me home cuz my body is really weak and I saw an intangible disagreement in her face. I annotate that I have a 4/11 plotted schedule and it’s a long way to run. She just checked my temperature but not the situation my swollen gums. She told me that only the doctors will decide if I’ll be send home for rest. The worst thing is there were no doctors on duty. So I left my post rather than waiting for miracles to happen, but it is not part of my philosophy to left my comrade in the midst of war. It is not my attitude to violate the mandated policy in our company, I was forced to left due to the callous rationale of the nurse. If her idea is a protocol then I’ll be rot in pain and felt the philosophy of struggle.

The inflation of the pain strikes my pocket and my gums and I gradually felt the enmity at that moment. I don’t have money and scarcity completely churned my sinking economy. Knowing that I am not yet covered by the company’s healthcare, then I cannot afford to see the dentist right away. I need to wait for the payday and completely save me.

I went to the dentist, it was a government dentist that seeing me. I grab the oppurtunity so that I can have a free check up but at the end I was referred by other private dentist to conduct the cleaning of my teeth and gums and that thousand of money was wasted for my health.

I know how important my job is and I know how health will affect the entire job. If I never had the time to rest do you think I can have a good conversion rate at the end of the day? If I’m still in the office at that time do you think I can provide the 101% of quality and productivity if my mind was divided into two thinking of the pain and the responsibility of my job? If I’m still there and my case will be worse how much money do I need to spend coz i am not yet covered by the company’s healthcare?

I am not stating here a false and melodramatic statement. If you were on my shoe you felt the same thing to. You will feel the injustice verdict from the eyes of the people that surrounds you. The scarcity that covers you is a chaos that leads you in the labyrinth of nowhere. I don’t want to point a filthy finger to accused someone but that would be the history that pushes me to create an unlawful act.

I would face the end of this trial calmly, with no regrets in expressing my opinion and looking forward to tomorrow optimistically. I look forward for the acquittance of this incident and I know that at the end of the day your voice will be heard.

 

-and at the end I won the case, It was not an easy ER case… But if you have the right then fight for it! Stop the word power tripping and respect your co-employees!